is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
