She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
