You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
NoShamevember. You game?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
