Pappa wants mamma naked
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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