His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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