Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
