He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
