8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If that was your dad, he is hot
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
