I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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