I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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