So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
