this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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