I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
