You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
