Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
