you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
