I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
