Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
