Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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