found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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