They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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