I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
