She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
