There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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