so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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