In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
4 words: hood of his car
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
