This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
