In the future we'll all be gay
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
