toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
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I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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