Duck Duck Cougar?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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