id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
