Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize