btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
