i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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