Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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