Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize