I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
