the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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