you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
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Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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