Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize