Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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