Fine. I'll sleep in my office
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize