haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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