so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
smell my finger.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
