Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
