4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize