the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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