can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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