Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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