capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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