don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
