I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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