bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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