Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
why do cheetos always look like penises
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We need to get me chipped asap
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
