Where is the hickey?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
