I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
