Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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