We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
