I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
