I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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