Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
