I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's like heaven, but drunker
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
