I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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