I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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