I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
