Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
