your thong is hanging out like whoa
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
